I touched this to that part and it felt good! Why?
“Every girl is expected to have caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama and doll tits. This is why everyone is struggling.”
Bill Hader hosting Saturday Night Live (October 11, 2014)
Dear Diary, mark it down. October 13th, 1986 is officially the worst day of my life. Everything sucks. Everything is wicked bad and it sucks. School is a nightmare. Today, I got my period on the balance beam and nobody told me and everybody saw. Now, everyone’s calling me ‘Lamey Poehler’. And then my mom found my beer in the laundry hamper and she had a wicked hissy fit so now she’s not letting me go to see Bon Jovi with opening act cinderella! Now my dream of Jon Bon Jovi seeing me in the crowd and taking me away from this miserable life is ruined! I hate my life! I gotta get my hair higher!